As I sit here and write this, I force myself to accept that it has been 6 days, 2 hours, and 57 long minutes since we have had to say good bye to our "Princess". The gal who has been by our side through it all.
This unexpected departure has forced me to re-evaluate a lot of things that I have held high for so long in my life. Things like: Where am I putting all of my time and energy? So often I find myself thinking there's just not enough time in the day to do everything I would like to and when I find the time - who's got the energy? I feel like I have been fortunate enough to experience a lot of life, but there is so much out there left to experience, and I am tired of feeling like I am living life in a blur. No more letting the days just pass me by. It's time to live intentionally. Who am I trying to impress? And are they the ones that really matter? The answer to this one is tricky. Who? Well, everyone. Everyone from peers and coworkers, family, friends, strangers, and even myself. And it's a lot of work. The "Peace Maker" inside of me shouts, "Of course it's worth it!" but at what cost? We all matter. It's up to us to make sure the ones that matter most in our lives know it. In order to make sure we are putting the best of us back into our relationships with the ones that matter most, we need to make sure our own hearts and souls are full.
After we honored our sweet girl, this past Tuesday, with a 'green burial', Tyler exclaimed "We are the lucky ones." He was right. Life is short. Life is unexpected. The grief isn't yet gone, but how fortunate am I that I have the opportunity to look back on all of the love this little creature brought into our lives. How fortunate are we that we have the opportunity to determine how we would like to live our lives and who we would like to share it with?
6 days 2 hours 57 minutes and counting ...